Part One
As I have already mentioned, one of my early concerns about doing mission work was the well being of my children. When we arrived in Moldova Melissa was 11 years old, Angela was 9, Rachel was 4, and Kristen was 2. My earliest anxieties were for their safety. I asked God more than once to take away my fears. I understood that we could not work or live with constant fear. Many missionaries I have met have been consumed with fear, and it led most of them to quit their work before it was ever started. Such fear is not from God. I understood from the beginning that we needed the victory over this fear.
God answered my prayer and removed most of my fears concerning my children. Yet we were under constant attack from the Enemy; some of that attack centered on my children. After the first few months in Moldova, I was asked by my board to go to Kiev and help register our mission there. I was supposed to be gone for three days because I was just going to sign papers and come straight back. After arriving in Kiev, it was clear I would be gone longer, because the documents were not ready. Everything we did in those days took longer than we expected, especially things dealing with the government. I was gone for ten days, but there was no way to contact Stephanie to let her know we would be longer. We did not have a phone in our apartment nor did my neighbors have phones. In those days most of the phone service was very unreliable. After a few days in Kiev, I would wake up at night from nightmares. I would dream of my two-year old daughter falling out of the tenth floor window. I almost decided to come home early because of fear. Fortunately, I realized this was an attack from the Enemy and started rebuking those kinds of thoughts. After this, I rarely had an evil thought about my children’s safety. It has become clear for me that God does not give us those kinds of fear-provoking thoughts. What Satan brings is fear; what God gives is peace.
The first few weeks were difficult for the children. Each night one or more of my children would wake in the night with nightmares. After a few nights of this, I started going in to their room late and praying over each of them, asking for God’s protection for them. I would rebuke the evil one and plead for the Blood of Christ to protect them. After that, the nightmares rarely occurred. The Bible is clear that, if we resist Satan, he will flee. As the spiritual leader of my home, I needed to resist Satan for my helpless little ones. I have had to do this at various times in their lives when they were vulnerable to attack. God has been good to deliver them each time from these attacks.
Many missionaries worry about their children’s ability to adjust to missionary life more than necessary. This can be the place where Satan takes advantage of us and gets a foot-hold in our lives and ministry. The simple truth is that our children will adjust much easier to the mission field than we as adults will. Children can very easily adapt to their circumstances. The first week in Moldova my children were afraid to play with the Moldovan children. Obviously there were language barriers, and we were just different. I would watch my children on the playground, and they would just stand off and look at the other children playing, then come back up to the apartment. One day that first week I gave my children each a pack of chewing gum and told them to give one piece to five different children before returning to the apartment. As I watched them from our balcony, I saw that they did as I instructed. It was like there were two lines facing off to each other: one with my children and the other line with the Moldovan children. The moment of truth had come: would my children be accepted? One of the grandmothers on the playground told the Moldovan children to welcome the American girls by including them in their play. After that my children never had a lack of friends. Sometimes it was hard to get the children to come in at night because they made so many friends and enjoyed the playground with them. As the first year wore on, my children learned the language by just playing with the Moldovan children. With the language down, they were able to feel right at home in Moldova.
There are several things my wife and I did to help the children adjust to the new life. For one, we always talked about Moldova in positive terms. They never heard us talk about anything negative in those early years. Most of the missionary children the age of my children complained about how much they disliked Moldova. After getting to know their parents, I realized the children were getting their attitude from the parents. I could spend five minutes with a missionary kid and tell you, if their parents liked or disliked their experiences in Moldova. It was a telling sign that their family would be short-term missionaries, if they were always complaining about Moldova and Moldovans. My children loved Moldova because their parents loved their work and the place they were working. To this day my children talk about Moldova as home. When they are not in Moldova, they miss it. True, their parents are in Moldova and they miss us, but they miss their adopted country. Most of their close friends are Moldovans. My older two daughters married Moldovan men, and Russian is the predominate language in their new homes.
God answered my prayer and removed most of my fears concerning my children. Yet we were under constant attack from the Enemy; some of that attack centered on my children. After the first few months in Moldova, I was asked by my board to go to Kiev and help register our mission there. I was supposed to be gone for three days because I was just going to sign papers and come straight back. After arriving in Kiev, it was clear I would be gone longer, because the documents were not ready. Everything we did in those days took longer than we expected, especially things dealing with the government. I was gone for ten days, but there was no way to contact Stephanie to let her know we would be longer. We did not have a phone in our apartment nor did my neighbors have phones. In those days most of the phone service was very unreliable. After a few days in Kiev, I would wake up at night from nightmares. I would dream of my two-year old daughter falling out of the tenth floor window. I almost decided to come home early because of fear. Fortunately, I realized this was an attack from the Enemy and started rebuking those kinds of thoughts. After this, I rarely had an evil thought about my children’s safety. It has become clear for me that God does not give us those kinds of fear-provoking thoughts. What Satan brings is fear; what God gives is peace.
The first few weeks were difficult for the children. Each night one or more of my children would wake in the night with nightmares. After a few nights of this, I started going in to their room late and praying over each of them, asking for God’s protection for them. I would rebuke the evil one and plead for the Blood of Christ to protect them. After that, the nightmares rarely occurred. The Bible is clear that, if we resist Satan, he will flee. As the spiritual leader of my home, I needed to resist Satan for my helpless little ones. I have had to do this at various times in their lives when they were vulnerable to attack. God has been good to deliver them each time from these attacks.
Many missionaries worry about their children’s ability to adjust to missionary life more than necessary. This can be the place where Satan takes advantage of us and gets a foot-hold in our lives and ministry. The simple truth is that our children will adjust much easier to the mission field than we as adults will. Children can very easily adapt to their circumstances. The first week in Moldova my children were afraid to play with the Moldovan children. Obviously there were language barriers, and we were just different. I would watch my children on the playground, and they would just stand off and look at the other children playing, then come back up to the apartment. One day that first week I gave my children each a pack of chewing gum and told them to give one piece to five different children before returning to the apartment. As I watched them from our balcony, I saw that they did as I instructed. It was like there were two lines facing off to each other: one with my children and the other line with the Moldovan children. The moment of truth had come: would my children be accepted? One of the grandmothers on the playground told the Moldovan children to welcome the American girls by including them in their play. After that my children never had a lack of friends. Sometimes it was hard to get the children to come in at night because they made so many friends and enjoyed the playground with them. As the first year wore on, my children learned the language by just playing with the Moldovan children. With the language down, they were able to feel right at home in Moldova.
There are several things my wife and I did to help the children adjust to the new life. For one, we always talked about Moldova in positive terms. They never heard us talk about anything negative in those early years. Most of the missionary children the age of my children complained about how much they disliked Moldova. After getting to know their parents, I realized the children were getting their attitude from the parents. I could spend five minutes with a missionary kid and tell you, if their parents liked or disliked their experiences in Moldova. It was a telling sign that their family would be short-term missionaries, if they were always complaining about Moldova and Moldovans. My children loved Moldova because their parents loved their work and the place they were working. To this day my children talk about Moldova as home. When they are not in Moldova, they miss it. True, their parents are in Moldova and they miss us, but they miss their adopted country. Most of their close friends are Moldovans. My older two daughters married Moldovan men, and Russian is the predominate language in their new homes.
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